Eating Words

You might as well choose which words you are eating

The first time I heard Alan Watts say that most people go through life eating the menu instead of the meal - it resonated with me, and I didn’t understand it. That is what I love about metaphors, they resonate at a level beyond mere understanding.

I was intrigued and it sent me on a mission to discover what he meant, and uncover what was resonating with me so powerfully. He was referring to the work of Alfred Korzybski who is the founder of a field called General Semantics and the originator of the dictum “the map is not the territory”.

Korzybski created the field with his book “Science and Sanity”. In his book he coined the term “semantic reaction” to make it clear that all of our reactions are not reactions to only what happens in the world, but we are also reacting to the meaning (ie semantics) that we make up about what happens.

To demonstrate this powerfully to his classes he would enter the classroom holding a box with a plain paper wrapping (to disguise the label of the box). He would then remove a biscuit and start eating it, and offer some to the students in the front row. After they had started eating the biscuits and sharing that they liked them, he would remove the plain paper wrapping to reveal that they were dog biscuits. Some of the students would recoil, spit out the biscuits and comment on how disgusting it was.

Korzybski would continue to finish his biscuit and then announce “"I have just demonstrated that people don't just eat food, but also words, and that the taste of the former is often outdone by the taste of the latter." Before they knew the biscuits were dog biscuits, the actual experience of eating them was a pleasant one. Once they saw the label on the box, they reacted to what they made the biscuit mean, not the actual experience of eating it. They were having a semantic reaction - not a reaction to the actual biscuit.

Korzybski claims that all of our reactions are semantic reactions and that altering the semantics/meaning greatly alters the reaction. Included in the semantics are our beliefs, stories, memories, interpretations, explanations and expectations for the future - all of which are impacting our reactions in every moment - including as you read these words.

What I discovered was that I wasn’t distinguishing between my actual experience in life and my semantics (interpretations, meaning, beliefs, stories, expectations, etc). When I don’t make this distinction, then words are playing with me. What’s worse is that I’m not actually present to life, I’m present to my semantics. I’m eating the menu (my semantics), not the meal (life itself).

It turns out this doesn’t just impact my present, it also impacts my future. Often I make an automatic prediction about what will or will not happen, and then make my decision based on that. But the truth is I have no idea of what will actually happen - and what’s more, I’m not simply deciding based on what may not actually happen, I’m deciding on what I make it mean - and what it means isn’t fixed or the truth.

I’ve noticed that what is more powerful than guessing about what might happen, and guessing about what it might mean, is to instead create it. While I can’t always create exactly what happens, I’ve noticed there is a lot of freedom around what I make it mean. And since I’m going to have a semantic reaction to what happens anyway, it turns out that what happens is much less impactful than what I make it mean.

I am not advocating for positive psychology or making everything mean sunshine and rainbows. I’m simply inviting you to start to distinguish between what happens and what you make it mean. Perhaps “no” doesn’t mean “rejection” or “bad news”, maybe it just means no. The word “no” is a great example of the power of semantic reactions.

Another example is anything that “triggers” you. It isn’t what the other person said, or what happened that “triggered” you, it was what you made it mean - you are reacting to your semantics. I love knowing that I don’t actually have any “triggers” - there are only semantic reactions and if I’m having one that isn’t working, I can slow down to discover the made-up meaning. Then I can play with the words, instead of the words playing with me.

The word “reaction” seems to imply that we are simply re-acting (or repeating a past action) and that it is a mechanical process where something happens and we re-act to it. Fortunately for us, we aren’t machines with mechanical reactions. Altering the phrase to “semantic reaction” brings awareness to a previously unaware component in our reaction - the semantics. This is where our freedom lies - our ability to play with the words in the meaning. As a possibility, nothing that happens in this world comes with inherent meaning/semantics. The meaning is always a creation. I invite you to play with the words “semantic reaction” and begin to play with the words of your meanings/semantics.

Another phrase to play with is “semantic creation” - which I just created as I was writing this post. Semantic creation is the act of proactively creating meaning in alignment with whatever you are up to in life. Instead of letting the circumstances appear to dictate the meaning, you take full responsibility for all meaning. Since meaning is all made-up anyway, you might as well create meaning that forwards the action towards the possibility you are creating.

While you might get full by eating the menu in a restaurant, you definitely won’t be satisfied, nourished or fulfilled. It turns out the same holds true for life. Life is inherently satisfying, nourishing and fulfilling, when we stop eating only our semantics and start eating life itself. And who knows, you might actually enjoy eating a dog biscuit, or receiving a “no”. And if “enjoying” is a stretch for you, perhaps you could simply be open to it not being disgusting, or something to avoid.

I invite you to share your semantic creations to this post in the comments. It is a great opportunity to practice semantic creation and create meaning from this post that forwards the action in your life.

“The present day theories of ‘meaning’ are extremely confused and difficult, ultimately hopeless, and probably harmful to the sanity of the human race.”

~Alfred Korzybski

Photo by Spencer Davis on Unsplash